Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps have been causing obesity outside nursery schools.

Terror expert A hardworking family has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Causing obesity: The True Face Of Evil", A hardworking family says, "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.